Another Day in the Fray

So, the pre-Emmy party was actually pretty fun.  Hugh Laurie said hello to me (I think I grunted back), Will Arnett didn't tell me anyone was in the men's restroom when I very loudly knocked and yelled "Maintenance"!... and Simon Baker asked me if he could sneak behind me to go into the party (his plan was to avoid the photographer's section).  I sort of grunted again a slight and weak... "I don't know".  He rubbed my arm, gave me a HUGE smile and said... "it's okay" and whisked right past me.  Was it a spell he cast?  Did he invade my mind and turn my school-girl brain to mush?  I'll never leave my Hubby for you, Simon!  Never! 

Did you know it's possible to survive lung cancer?  Did you know that it doesn't always win?  There are survivors out there.  There is a book by Michael Lloyd called "How to Survive Lung Cancer - A Practical 12-Step Plan" and it's not so much about his story that inspires (although it does) but about finding the commonalities between the survivors.  When he asked doctors what those commonalities could be, they couldn't tell him.  He had to search on his own while fighting his own lung cancer fight.  I've never been one for holistic approaches.  I'm a big fan of science and all things synthetic.  It seems to me, however, the key is in the balance.  There is a place somewhere in between that is like Goldilock's porridge... just right.  It doesn't matter that she broke into someone's house and stole the porridge.

There is a family member on Hubby's side who is a research scientist and is very skeptical of Dr. Moon's stem cell therapy in relation to cancer.  Mainly because Dr. Moon only has 5 papers and in that community, it doesn't mean much.  I'm torn in-between. 

Speaking of pop-culture references... "There's no place like home". 

A man by the name of "Smiley" went to Korea when he was really already too sick to go.  I'm sure he probably knew this but what Dr. Moon's treatment offered him was hope and he was excited to go.  But by the time he got there, his cancer had gone into his pancreas.  The blog is "Hope for Smiley".  At the bottom of it is a picture and in it reads... "There's no place like hope".  That struck me.  Can you live in a place like Hope like you can in a place like Home?  Yes.  Yes, you can.  And it's beautiful and it's massive.  Hope is not a one-block little town with rocks and tumbleweeds.  Hope is a large, green open-space country with hills that go as far as the eye can see.  There are lung cancer survivors out there and they all resided here at one time.

I intend to visit from time-to-time.

Stuff

Mom finally got a call back.  Looks like end of October, early November when she can go to Korea.  It's super expensive and the treatment may take 5-7 weeks.  There may also be a return visit required.  Wow.  Money is money and not much else.  Time is what is so valuable.  If time and QOL is what can be granted, then that is what is important. 

What is Kimchi, anyway?

By the way, there is a search engine specifically for research articles and the like.  It is:  www.scholar.google.com.  Write it down!

Busy weekend ahead.  Baby shower in the afternoon and then working a pre-Emmy party until 1 or 2 am into Sunday.  It would be worth it if I could at least take a few photos but I'm afraid I would be tackled and forcefully removed by Security.  Next Saturday is my youngest's birthday party so we'll have some errands to run as well. 

Get your Skype, Mom!

... love you dearly.

Return to Reality

We got back from Kauai two nights ago.  Three hour time difference is tough.  Back to work.  Back to life.  Back to reality. 
So, Dr. Moon's office hasn't gotten back to my mom yet about when she can go to S. Korea.  I hope they do this week.  Argh.  At the moment, mom is off of any kind of cancer-fighting treatment (which scares the living daylights out of me) but hopefully a hopeful upcoming radiation regimen will alleviate some of the pain and kick the cancer back a notch.  It's about knocking your opponent down and keeping him down as long as possible.  If you're fighting Mike Tyson, you may not be able to beat him in the long run but you want to get as many punches in and keep him away for as long as possible.  I'd also keep him away from my ear.
Hoping for my littlest one and I to take a weekend flight up if the Korea thing doesn't pan out quickly.  It would be nice for mom to get to know her.  If I was any bit of feisty or ornery as she is, I'm sure Mom'll enjoy the fact that I now get to experience it as a mom.  ;-)

Kauai

Here we are in Kauai on a beautiful morning.  We flew here on September 5th.  Thank you MIL and FIL for letting us share this amazing vacation with you!  The girls are here too.  Hubby and I celebrate our wedding anniversary tomorrow (officially).  We were married (okay, unofficially) in Cabo San Lucas (officially in Norwalk... not as exotic)  :-) 

Our family and friends joined us there. It was beautiful. We were married in Capilla Josephina, a very small but spiritually beautiful church. I needed God in our wedding and He was there. I needed my mother at our wedding and she was there. Cancer was there too although a highly uninvited guest. The damn thing has been around to this day.

I've always thought of cancer and my mom as two entities on each side of a line.  Cancer cannot cross. And for the past two years it did remain on that other side. Lately, however, it has begun creeping onto that line and Mom has been battling as best she can.  If only I could see this still-lingering uninvited guest eye-to-eye.  I'd like to beat the crap out of it.  I don't understand why it won't come out and fight.
 
You keep fighting, Mom.  I will be your cheerleader... always.
 
Well, today we are taking a day to drive up to the North Shore.  Another beautiful day in Kauai is coming.  Peaceful thoughts.  Deep breath.  Take it all in...

Mom

~ MY MOTHER ~







If only my mouth could properly speak the words that live in the core of my soul.  If only you "just knew" what was there. 


Is it even possible for a child to be proud of their parent?  Isn't it only supposed to be the other way around?  Maybe because I am older, I have the perspective to see you as who you really are.  Yes, my mother... my mom.  But you are so much more and always have been.  You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.  You are the most intelligent person I have ever met.  You are the most giving and compassionate person I have ever known.  How blessed was I that God gave me to you?  I can't even use the word "lucky"... the word is "blessed". 


You are a woman who has only walked forward in life, never backwards.  While raising two children on your own, you forged a life not only for us but for yourself.  One that you should be absolutely nothing but proud of.  Every house we ever lived in was one step up from the last.  Each neighborhood a little greener.  How many kids actually get to have their own pony? We were exposed to life in a way that many kids don't get to see.  Not so shielded to miss seeing the man behind the curtain sometimes... but also held high and forward... to see the beauty in what is out there.


I watched you climb up the corporate ladder.  Your work ethic is something I have always admired and something I tried to accomplish in myself.  You are a good friend to people you know and even people you don't.  You have employees and co-workers who trust and admire you.  Neighbors who look out after you and people who pray for you.


I know who you are. 


Mom, you are an "accomplishment".  A work of art.  Heaven built one hell of a woman.  You are beauty and love and strength.  My mouth may not be able to tell you these things, but my heart can.  And it's spilled out all over this page.